Tsunade's Bad Day
by Glass Petals
Summary: Tsunade has the wrost day of her life! Be careful Crack fic!


Hey this is one-shot plz read!

Summary: Tsunade has the worst day of her life! Be careful this is a crack fic.

Tsunade's Bad Day 

In her office she was drinking her hot tea. The door knocked and she spilled her hot tea all over her chest.

Tsunade screamed, the rookie 9, Gai's team, and Temari and Gaara came in.

**Her attention went off of her chest to her young ninjas in front off her.**

"**You wanted us." Asked the impatient Naruto.**

"**Yes yes ok I need you guys to run a errand for me." Said the burning Tsunade.**

"**And what is it?" Asked Sasuke.**

**She opened a book(A/N yes a book not a scroll a book!)**

"**We must kill" Said Tsunade as she was interrupted.**

"**KILL WHO KILL WHO!" Screamed Gaara jumping up and like a schoolgirl.**

**Soon after Hinata got a kunai form her lil cute bunny like kunai pouch.**

**Sakura jumped on Ino and began reading her like a horse around the room "KILL WHO!" she screamed like a mad cow.**

**Ino was now foaming at the mouth waiting to eat someone.**

**Kiba jumped on Choji and began to eat him "KILL CHOJI!" Yelled Kiba.**

**Shino got his bugs to eat Akamaru "EAT HIM EAT HIM!" Giggled Shino like a little girl.**

**Ino jumped towards Choji and began eating his legs.**

**Sakura began to slice Choji up. "GET THE GRILL SHIKAMARU!" Yelled Sakura.**

**Shikamaru jumped out the window onto a cloud "We're having Choji tonight!" He screamed.**

**Neji used the bayakugan(A/N is that spelled right?) to find Choji's heart when he did he ripped it out.**

"**YES HIS HEART I HAVE HIS HEART!" He screamed as he bit into it.**

**Saskue was humping Sakura in his happiness. **

**Tenten got an axe and helped Sakura.**

**Lee was telling Gai that he would eat all of Choji as he jumped onto Choji.**

**Temari was seasoning Choji up.**

**Gaara was now helping Shikamaru bring in the grill.**

**Everybody helped lift Choji on the grill.**

**Shikamaru fried it up and got saka for everybody.**

"**Drink up!" Yelled Shikamaru tossing bottles of saka at people.**

**One hit Saskue in the head and he passed out.**

**Sakura(still riding Ino) looked at him.**

"**He's dead" Yelled Sakura.**

"**Should we get another grill." Asked Shikamaru.**

"**Na I think he will be better raw." Said the moth watering Sakura. **

**Sakura and Ino began eating Sasuke.**

**Tsunade looked at her students eating Sasuke and cooking Choji.**

"**Enough!" She yelled closing the book on her breast.**

**All eyes were on her. **

**She tried to fit her large breast back into her shirt but they were slipper cause of the damn tea!**

"**Get back in there you son of a bitchs" muttered Tsunade.**

**All the guys left alive had a little nosebleed………..and so did Tenten!**

**Everybody stared at Tenten as blood ran down the guys' nose and Tenten's.**

"**Ahhhh I got punched in the face." She lied.**

**Everybody looked at Tsunade again.**

**Temari leaned back and mouthed to Tenten "Meet at the corner." And winked.**

**Tsunade now with her beast firmly behind her clothing began to talk.**

"**O well just eat Sasuke and Choji and tell people that they died on a mission." Said Tsunade lazily.**

**Tsunade got up and walked around Konoha to a vendor.**

"**Hey how much does that tomato cost?" Asked Tsunade.**

"**$3" The marcent said.**

"**That's to much." Said Tsunade as she walked away.**

'**You stole my tomato!" Yelled the mercent.**

"**No I didn't." Said Tsunade in a "whatever" voice.**

"**Yes you did u stuffed them in your shirt there is no way those beast of your are that big" Yelled the merchant.**

"**What I made these all on my own your just mad I didn't buy your tomato." Yelled Tsunade.**

"**So you did steel it." Said the mercent.**

"**No I didn't." Yelled Tsunade.**

"**Get the big chested thief!" Yelled the marcent.**

"**Get your hooker-ass back here bitch only hookers upgrade their goodies!" Yelled a random person.**

"**Come back here you fake-boobed bitch!" Yelled a little girl.**

**Tsunade ran for the sake of her boobs being cut-off.**

**Suddenly, people in a white van with white coats came up to her.**

"**Ma'am were taking you away." Said one of the men.**

"**Never!" She yelled " My boobs shall run free!"**

**Tsunade then punched the ground making it shake and then an earthquake happened.**

**But no one got hurt the ground cracked and a stage came up form the crack.**

"**How beautiful" cried one of the men.**

**It was……a……Fanta Girl concert!**

"**O my god how beautiful" She said crying as she ran away.**

**But it wasn't the Fanta Girls it was the rookie 9, Gai's team and Gaara(excluding Choji and Sasuke who have been eaten).**

**Gaara lead the dancing singing "You know wanna some Choji maybe even Sasuke." To the beat of the Fanta girl song.**

**Every once in a while shikamaru would sing "Get the grill-a." To the beat of the Get The Fevea part of the song.**

**They would throw peaces of Choji and Sasuke to the crowd.**

**Fan girls would fight over for pieces of Sasuke.**

**Tsunade ran down the street to only see Temari and Tenten making out on a corner. **

"**Damn where to go where to go?" Said Tsunade.**

**The white van came back to reveal a hooker diving the van with the white coats in the backset.**

"**DIE BITCH DIE!" Yelled the Hooker trying to run over Tsunade.**

**Tsunade kept running for her boobs and her life. She knew the hooker was just jealous.**

**The hooker ran he over!**

**She got out of the van with the white coats. **

**In a puff of smoke Tsunade turned into Temari and Tenten now undressing each other.**

"**Substitution justu! Damn." Yelled the hooker.**

"**Lets go get this insane hooker!" Yelled a white coat.**

**The hooker jumped on a white coat's back and humped it telling it the go(A/N those damn hookers).**

**Tsunade was now at a river.**

**A monkey jumped from a tree and banged her on the head.**

"**Damn..it" Said Tsunade weakly.**

**Tsunade woke up " Guess it was a dream" Said Tsunade.**

**Until she saw she was in a crazy hospital.**

**Tsunade screamed as she jumped though the ceiling and ran o her office. **

**When she got there she saw Temari and Tenten making out in her chair. She just fell on the floor and fell asleep.**

Ummmmm…..yea…..did u guys like plz review!


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